Seeins how I got a niece fixin to be hitched this week, I thought it appropriate to share some wisdom from deep within my heart. Unfortunately, the groom probably won't see this and if/when he does, it might'n already be too late. For the rest of you, here's some classes I think all men should be required to take in preparation fer a'gettin' hitched.
How to seem interested in a chick-flick while a-watchin' it with your wife.
How to make the most efficient use of barbequer space.
How to answer all those wife questions like "Does this dress make me look fat?" without lyin' and without gettin' "The Look".
How to get your wife to buy you all the tools (especially power ones) to make you be more manly.
Crash course on how to use all them tools once you have 'em.
How to memorize that list of groceries so you don't have to call your wife 5 times from the supermarket.
How to grunt like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
How to get your kids more interested in watchin' football than in watchin' SpongeBob. (So that you can watch without constant interruption a'wantin' to know when they can have the remote back.)
What other classes do you suggest?